me’s blog

After setting the mood last night with some YouTube clips from and inspired by the 80’s, some friends and I kicked off our Sunday shoes and attempted to watch the movie Footloose.  My memories of this movie were spotty at best, primarily because the last time I watched it must have been 15-20 years ago.  I’d completely forgotten that a pre-Garnier Nutrisse SJP was one of Ariel’s giggly best friends.  And apparently John Lithgow never had hair.  The only things I did remember were the movie’s insanely hit-laden soundtrack, the moment when Kevin Bacon slides down the apparently pre-lubed railing in the "Never" dance sequence, Ariel’s red "f***-me" boots, the game of Tractorchicken, the phrase "jump back!", and the guy picking his nose at the dance while "Almost Paradise" played in the background.  [My sister and I used to rewind that particular moment and watch it 50-or-so times on Beta and laugh our butts off 'cuz it's really funny when you're 10.]

As all three of my faithful readers will undoubtedly recall, normally I’m a bit of a movie-watching stickler.  But last night the boys and I got all jacked up on Tab, a delicious 80’s cola that turns you into a mind sticker and helps you keep your shape in shape.  I mean after watching this commercial, how could we resist?

Once the Tab was flowing through our veins, all movie-watching etiquette quickly went out the window.  We were all laughing and screaming and joking and having a blast while the movie chuggered (is that a word?) on nobly in the background.  Long story short:  Footloose?  Is filthy.  It’s a shockingly PG-rated movie chock-full of adult language, phallic imagery, homoerotic subtext, and a positively R-worthy pube-n-butt-baring scene in the gym showers which I swear I have no childhood recollection of whatsoever.  Not to mention the fact that Dianne Weist has always looked more than a tad wanton to me, and free-spirit daredevil Ariel (played by Lori Singer) constantly seems to be vibrating on an "electric ear cleaner" of her own.  Where is Lori Singer now?  According to the scant info provided on Wikipedia, she’s a Julliard-trained cellist who most recently performed as a soloist at Carnegie Hall earlier this year.  This cello thing could explain her character’s tendency towards incessant vibration, especially when the actress is so used to having a giant wooden instrument erectly positioned betwixt her thighs. 

But I digress.  At one point during the movie I literally blew my own mind - a lesser-known side effect of drinking Tab.  During the scene when Kevin Bacon and that other dude are playing Tractorchicken, and Kevin gets his shoelace caught on the pedal or whatever, my Tabbed-up brain made the connection that the only reason Kevin wins the game is why???  Because he couldn’t get his… wait for it… foot loose.

Is it possible that I’m the first person to ever think of that?  Shouldn’t that win me a prize or something?  Maybe some red "f***-me" boots?  Or a hose-fight (!) with Kevin Bacon at the car wash?

I’ll let you bask in my moment of brilliance for a bit while you watch the video for my current favorite song, a song obviously inspired by the wild and crazy antics of Ren, Ariel, and the rest of the wacky gang from Bomont, CO.  As my dear groupie David said regarding this video, I dare you not to get up and dance. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "Fascination" by Alphabeat. 

This entry was posted on Monday, April 14th, 2008 at 10:01 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.